With mad props to the free-lovin, long-haired Bohemian hippies who paved the way for the progressive-potheads of my own era, if we’re ever going to make the last push toward national legalization (and more importantly, decriminalization), we’re going to need to appeal to mainstream America. Get the marijuana moms and cannabis-closeted executives on board. Appeal to the stiletto stoners and ganjapreneurs. Make pot smoking as appealing to the masses as mixology and martini shakers were in the Mad Men era. (Without the part where everyone drinks themselves to death…). #CannabisIsSafer
Point is, we’re kicking it up a notch. Crappy bongs and aluminum-can pipes will no longer fit in with our terrific new townhouse. That gunked-up grinder needs to be swapped out for gold! Zig Zags and Zippos? Replaced by vaporizers and Tiffany torches!
Legal cannabis is the fastest-growing market in the country (posting $6.7 billion in revenue last year—a 30 percent increase). This Green Rush has created amazing innovation and glorious gadgets for the upscale cannabis clientele. Indeed, we’ve upgraded the hardware. Introducing: The High End. (Check out the video version here.)
If we all had these bongs, we’d get along
Blackened, slimy, swamp water-filled plastic bongs are no longer how we roll. Gorgeous glass is now available at every price level from an impressive array of artists. If budget’s not an issue (make sure ya save something to buy weed), nothing’s classier than a stunning piece from the artisans at Mothership Glass (below).
For pure spectacle, I’m partial to the Grav Labs Menorah—an eight-bowl bubbler that can be used on Hanukkah, or any day you want to make a high holiday.
In the event you’re interested in the most expensive bong in history, it’s this gold-encrusted skull from Scott Deppe. This show piece runs more than $100,000, so yer gonna want to be careful with that thing…
Coming back down to earth, a new breed of American-made ceramic pipes have sparked major interest, including individually crafted gems from Stonedware and Summerland that would just as easily fit into a museum as your nightstand.
While you can still rock a vintage Bob Marley t-shirt or hemp bracelet, canna-fashion is again cutting edge. Alexander Wang’s current designs bring cannabis motifs to the runway on bags and mini-skirts.
High-end designer Jacquie Aiche has created a Sweet Leaf collection inspired by marijuana leaves and worn by Rihanna, Kate Mara and Gigi Hadid. Her Sweet Hoops are also all the rage; they better be sweet for five grand.
Need bigger bling? Fashion maven Vetements, known for couture collections, is selling a gold ganja grinder that can be worn as a necklace or pocket watch.
When it comes to high-fashion, my personal preference is the (fake) Rolex. Notice the green band?!
The Cannabis Connoisseur can clear the counter of clutter and freshen the space with the CannaCloud—essentially the “Keurig of Cannabis!” Made by CannaKorp, this high-end vaporizing system uses single-smoke pods, but unlike those java machines, pours a perfect plume. The CannaCloud is cheap ($150), but they get ya with the individual cPods (at around $7 per unit), which come in various flavors including sativa, hybrid, indica and CBD only strains.
Fully automated infusers like the LEVO will soon be joining the juicer and Cuisinart on countertops. The LEVO is a sophisticated kitchen appliance that makes infused butters and oil. And while the LEVO will infuse butter with herbs and fruits and nutrients, the main purpose is to put your weed in there! Even if, like me, you couldn’t cook your way out of a paper bag, the copper LEVO will still look lovely on your countertop.
Along with sun-grown, small batch, all-organic cannabis, consumers are looking for healthier ways to inhale. The style and sophistication of top of the line vaporizers like the DaVinci IQ, PAX and PuffCo fit right alongside high tech laptops and digital devices, and avoid traditional smoke via convection heat.
The most expensive vaporizer around ($600) was created by former NASA engineers, and while it won’t shoot you to the Moon, the Herbalizer is like having an alien in your living room. These limited edition machines are futuristic and allow users to enjoy herb in a variety of ways, including Aromatherapy, Vaportherapy and the traditional balloon method.
For those of us not chowing elegant edibles or using an electronic vape, we’re in need of FIRE! Hempwick is fab, as are vintage matchbooks (hell—anything but those blowtorches the kids are dabbing with). The S.T. Dupont Prestige Collection Diamond Nights lighter is beyond belief and frankly ridiculous—which is why we’re highlighting it. Inspired by Persian architecture, the $30,000 limited edition is stunning, sophisticated, and, unlike your disposable Bic, not to be left at a friend’s house. If you’d prefer to upgrade from the $30,000 Nights edition, ya can kick it up a notch to the S.T. Dupont Prestige Collection Diamond Rain version—containing 1098 diamonds. Make it rain, bee-otch.
Frenchy fashion house Hermès has been making smoke accessories since Louis XVI’s head rolled into the Seine. This porcelain Hermès Mosiac Ashtray is only $830. Priceless? Hardly! ($830) Senseless? Indeed!
Whether it’s sweet or spicy or has hints of lavender (or Labrador), maintaining aroma and freshness for our flower requires a quality humidor. The best stash box designed for dope is the Cannador… but our over-the-top fave is the Imperiali (below). The Swiss-made Imperiali Geneve dials in constant humidity and perfect self-regulating temperature. The hand-made humidor has 2,675 components (including an internal gas lighter and tourbillion watch) and costs one million Swiss francs. How much is that, you may ask? More than you have… and since only twelve Imperialies are being made a year, forgetaboutit.
The Imperiali comes with Cubans, but I suggest swapping ‘em out with the CannaGar, the World’s highest-end cannabis cigar! Using fine cannabis (from Seattle grower Gold Leaf), each cigar is hand-rolled and cured. Chock full of 9.5 ounces of bud, the CannaGar is then covered in three grams of rosin oil and wrapped in at least two layers of gorgeous, pure cannabis leaves. Cost? $420, of course!
For the organic gardening types who like to make their own home-brewed Kombucha, there are great grow systems for cannabis, including the Supercloset, Yofumo and BloomBox. The Leaf advertises itself as a “Plug-n-Plant” home growing system that fits into a small apartment and still leaves room for the flatscreen. With a high-tech monitoring system that puts baby monitors to shame, the Leaf supposedly handles it all: light, ventilation, even nutrient levels! The size of a mini-fridge, the Leaf only fits two plants (yielding between four and five ounces of pot). At $3000 for the machine, that’s some spendy weed.
If you’re super tight on space, the Root Indoor Garden is a counter-top sized gadget that can grow lettuce, tomatoes, culinary herbs… oh, and clones (or auto flowers)! The Root includes an LED grow light and a hydroponic system that infuses nutrient-rich water directly at the roots, letting you grow in as tiny a space as a micro-flat.
Of course, anyone wanting to grow their own will need a guide on gardening, so why not blow $500 on a lovely coffee-table book! Three A Light is beautifully illustrated and leads readers from seed to harvest, though, frankly, we’d save $475 and buy something from master gardener Ed Rosenthal.
Some of us are too lazy to get out of the house, much less grow our own ganja. Luckily, in many markets there’s home delivery! A company called Club M does subscription service, delivering a luxury box full of curated cannabis products and accessories each month. Their limited-edition gift box is the M1K (see below), and the K stands for the cool grand a month you’ll be paying for your ganja goodies. They’ve also got $100 subscriptions if you want to dial it down a notch. The AuBox is another upscale option, with specialized categories including edibles, intimates, beauty and even pet boxes.
So long as we’re upping the ante, there’s no reason the Donald Trump crowd can’t get in on the action. (Seniors are, in fact, the fastest growing cannabis-using population, not to mention the legalization of cannabis is a states’ rights issue which the Republican-minded should appreciate.) Palm Angels have some comfy Italian-made slippers that would make Hef proud, and come with embroidered golf leafs.
For high society tee-time, you’ll also need the Jane West golf tees that double as one-hitters or the Pitch n’ Putt containers from Puffingtons that allow you to store your stash in a golf ball. After all, if you ARE having to spend time with a right-winger, something needs to make those 18 holes more tolerable…
Don’t forget to ditch the golf cart and ride the Hemp Roadster! The so-called Cannabis Car has a hemp body and is made by Renew, a Key West car designer. The high-performance roadster features a Mazda chassis and a composite shell made from interwoven industrial hemp fibers and resin that are lighter and more durable than fiberglass. Though the green machine doesn’t run on cannabis—it uses a feel-good fuel called BioButanol—made from recycled agricultural waste, with a carbon footprint that’s 20 percent cleaner than electric cars. Currently in the prototype stage, you can get on the list for this gorgeous two-seat convertible, but you have to put down the full price: $42,000.
In the end, of course, you don’t need a little red convertible or $100,000 bong to make you happy. You need good cannabis and a loving community (SEE! The Counter Culture is alive and well!). Still, it’s fun to have fancy gadgets, and my personal favorite is a vape pen called the Grasshopper. Made out of sturdy titanium, this elegant device fits right inside my jacket pocket and alongside my journal. Problem is, sometimes I forget my real pen. #Stoner.
Find your own elevated bliss, and enjoy the High Life!
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Marijuana Meet Markets, Ganja and Girl Scouts, and the Kettle Falls 5
Plus: Olympia’s plan to raise the smoking age.Michael Stusser’s column appears weekly on HigherGroundtv.com as well as the Seattle Weekly and other newspapers around the country.
Marijuana-related business—and the cold, hard cash that comes with it—is the driving force behind the current Green Rush. In Washington and Colorado alone, consumers purchased $370 million worth of cannabis products in 2014. The U.S. market for legal ganja was $2.7 billion—up 75 percent from the previous year. If growth continues—and it will as more states legalize (most predict at least 15 more in the next five years, including California in 2016)—the projected numbers could soar to $11 billion by 2019. I don’t suggest investing in green stocks (after all, most of these businessmen and -women were literally drug dealers last year), but the dope frenzy is just getting started. So this week, let’s start with a market report.
GIRL SCOUT PUSHERS
The best ganjapreneurial story thus far hasn’t been about a boutique grower, high-tech vape, or artisan edible—it was a Girl Scout! For the second year in a row, 14-year old Danielle Lei has set up shop outside San Francisco’s Green Cross medical dispensary and sold boxes of cookies like gangbusters. (What a surprise!) This year the Super-Scout sold 208 boxes in two hours. While there have been no such efforts from the Seattle-based GS Troops (perhaps pestering potheads in front of Cannabis City is too politically incorrect in the Evergreen State), it does make me wonder if the Girl Scouts of America should make a licensing deal with some big-time edible maker. They could broker a hefty up-front fee and royalty, and allow Bhang Chocolates or 420Bars to make THC-Mints and Cannabis DeLites! Just don’t give any to Maureen Dowd. She’ll chow the whole box.SMOKIN’ SINGLES
Another overlooked market in the marijuana space is the meet market. Over one-third of all couples married since 2005 met online. In addition to match.com and eHarmony, other dating sites help narrow the pool: VeggieDate is for vegetarians looking for love (and a salad), Equestrian Singles hooks up horse-lovers (that sounds weird), TrekPassions transports Trekkies together (“Live love and prosper!”), and Tastebuds attempts to unite music lovers of similar genres. (You’d hate to find out too far down the line that her favorite band is Mumford & Sons.) And now there’s a dating site that connects frisky 20-somethings by their common interest . . . in weed! High There is basically a Tinder app for stoners that matches not only the way you like to get high (bongs, vapes, edibles) but your energy level once you’re fully baked (while marijuana turns me into a hyperactive dancing housecleaner, others may prefer to remain couch-locked . . . ). It’s funny: People used to list drug use as a way to weed out potential paramours.THE KETTLE FALLS 5
With all the openness of weed dating sites and potrepreneurs selling their wares in broad daylight, let’s not forget growing cannabis is still a federal crime, even here in Washington. In a high-profile case, five Stevens County residents, known as the Kettle Falls 5, are looking at mandatory 10-year sentences for growing marijuana for medical purposes and in compliance with state law. The U.S. attorney is of the mind that the collective had more weed than they needed and were selling ganja to others—thus they raided the property in August 2012 and seized 75 plants. Given the recent passage of the Cromnibus spending bill that bans any Department of Justice funds (read bulldozers, DEA submachine guns, etc.) from being spent on prosecuting medical-marijuana patients who comply with state law, the defendants were hoping to have the case dismissed. U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Rice instead dismissed the argument, and the trial is scheduled to begin Feb. 23 in Spokane. It’ll be hard for the family to build much of a defense, as medical marijuana doesn’t exist (and thus can’t be argued) at the federal level. The case should be a bellwether regarding future legal actions against medical collectives. On a side note, family patriarch Larry Harvey probably won’t have to stand trial . . . because he has Stage IV pancreatic cancer.PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND WAIT TO SMOKE IT
Finally, a bill being sponsored in the legislature by Rep. Tina Orwall would make Washington the first state in the country to raise the smoking age from 18 to 21. This point is moot for potheads, as the legal marijuana smoking age is already 21—not to mention the (almost unbelievable) study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association which shows that moderate long-term cannabis smoking is not associated with negative lung health. So let’s dogpile on tobacco—which will kill ya: Attorney General Bob Ferguson, who claims smoking kills 8,000 Washingtonians a year, strongly supports the idea of raising the puffing age. “We know that 95 percent of teens who don’t smoke by the time they are 21 never end up smoking,” he said. “It’s really important we are limiting access in those teenage years.” It’s estimated that a raise in the smoking age from 18 to 21 would cost the tobacco industry $20 million a year. Ya know what business they might get into to make up for those losses? Welcome to Marijuana-boro Country . . .
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Patient Protection Act, My Ass
How recreational-marijuana legalization is screwing medical-marijuana access.
Washington continues to take one step forward and seven steps back in our legalization experiment. With new laws rapidly eroding the voter-approved Medical Use of Marijuana Act of 1998, the cannabis community is deeply divided between the “haves” (recreational retailers, growers, and processors) and the “have-nots” (medical-marijuana patients and dispensaries). What does this grave new world look like?
No-Man’s Land
Dispensaries and collective gardens are being shut down across Washington, leaving the state’s estimated 175,000 medical patients to wonder how in the hell they’re going to get their medicine. They aren’t likely to find it at recreational stores, which have little incentive to sell medicinal items such as low-THC edibles, transdermal patches, topicals, or cannabis suppositories.King County and the Seattle City Council have voted to begin shutting down “unlicensed” dispensaries, and are sending Cease and Desist orders to collectives. Dispensaries also have been notified that if they continue to operate as unlicensed retail outlets, they’ll face civil and criminal ramifications. Problem is, there are nomedical-dispensary licenses under 502, and currently no guidelines for them to apply. The official application period for 502 stores ended in December 2013, and no new applications for medicinal stores will be taken until next July. And until the (Liquor and) Cannabis Board approves these new applications, patients are stuck in the middle of a cannabis clusterfuck. In addition, dozens of counties and towns are banning legal marijuana stores in their jurisdictions, not only ignoring the will of the voters but denying access for those using medical cannabis.
Patient “Protection”
As noted previously in this column (“Marijuana Is Medicine,” April 29), Senate Bill 5052, signed into law by Governor Inslee in April, is a draconian piece of crap that will overhaul (aka eliminate) a medical system that was up and running long before recreational marijuana was even a seedling. Last week, part of the bill—which in an Orwellian twist has been deemed the Cannabis Patient Protection Act—went into effect with a slew of regressive rules, tailor-made to force longtime medical users into either taxable retail stores or back underground. The new law drastically cuts the number of plants a patient can have. No more than 15 plants can now be grown in a single housing unit, regardless of the number of patients or designated providers who reside there. This directly impacts thousands of patients who are unable to grow (or afford) marijuana themselves and belong to collective gardens, which previously allowed up to 45 plants for 10 individuals. Many of these collectives also prepare edibles for patients who cannot smoke, as well as cannabis oils, balms, and tinctures for a wide variety of maladies.No House Calls
Practitioners can no longer go to a patient’s home or set up a location outside of their permanent office to evaluate, assess, or examine for a qualifying condition; this eliminates satellite clinics, which doctors often set up in rural areas where few health professionals were available to write authorizations for medial marijuana. (We’d hate for Grandma to get too comfortable and be evaluated for her Parkinson’s or Crohn’s disease anywhere near her home in Black Diamond.)Feeding the Paranoia
Health-care practitioners can no longer run an office with the sole purpose of authorizing medical recommendations. (I mean, why have anyone specialize in the ailments that may be alleviated by cannabis?) If a health-care practitioner writes more than 30 authorizations for medical marijuana in a single month, he or she must now report the number to the Washington Department of Health.You don’t have to be paranoid to be nervous about doctors handing over charts and records to various state boards and commissions which point out that their patients are committing felonies at the federal level. And the paranoia won’t stop there. This particularly nerve-wracking requirement will be eliminated a year from now . . . when the new “voluntary” registry takes effect. You don’t sign up—you get no tax break for medical weed.
The Budtender Is Not In
A final absurd nail: Medical patients, who will now need to get their cannabis from recreational outlets, will not be able to discuss medical solutions to their various ailments and illnesses with store budtenders. It’s strictly against Liquor and Cannabis rules.A Positive for Veterans
There was one positive outcome from Washington’s legislative changes: Post-traumatic stress disorder is now one of the conditions that a medical provider can cite to authorize the use of marijuana.Even this seeming no-brainer wasn’t a shoo-in: Colorado’s Board of Health recently rejected PTSD as a qualifying condition, saying they wanted further research, despite their own Colorado Scientific Advisory Council’s recommendation that it be added.
Veterans have testified at the state and federal level in their efforts to allow cannabis to treat a variety of conditions ex-military personnel face, including depression, anxiety, insomnia, traumatic brain injuries, and pain relief. According to the Department of Veteran Affairs, an average of 22 veterans kill themselves every day. While the feds do not allow military personnel to use cannabis during their service or as part of post-service treatment plans through the Veterans Administration, if there are any ways to alleviate their suffering, we should obviously explore them. #SupportOurTroops
More regulations that will eliminate safe medical-marijuana access points take effect next July, including rules on licensing and product testing, collective garden requirements, and shutting down all current medical dispensaries and potentially licensing them as retail stores. Lawsuits and Initiatives to overturn both Initiative 502 and portions of 5052 and stop the closure of medical dispensaries have been filed by the Association of Safe Access Points (saveaccesswa.com andasapwa.org), Real Legalization (reallegalization.org), and others. The Legalization Experiment clumsily continues.
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Higher Ground: Runner’s High
Spring has sprung, and it’s finally time to strap on the running shoes and get stoned out of your mind!There’s no doubt that marijuana is good for all kinds of things: stimulating the appetite, creative brainstorming, giggle-fests . . . but exercise? Yes, apparently. According to an article in last month’s Runner’s World, athletes who use cannabis benefit from stress relief and reduced inflammation.
Now I’m no marathoner, but I do understand the pain and nausea that kind of grind might cause; hell, I “hit the wall” on walks from Starbucks to the car. And long-distance runners are now claiming that the pain relief associated with marijuana is also a huge benefit for their grueling efforts, helping athletes achieve an idealized state earlier in their run.
“When you have runner’s high, you have feelings very similar to those you would feel if you were smoking marijuana,” stated neuroscientist Arne Dietrich in Runner’s World. The prefrontal cortex of the brain regulates both feelings, Dietrich notes, including “sedation, analgesia, mild happiness, the loss of the sensation of time, and a loss of worries.” What? Where was I?
It makes sense that the CBDs that help to block the input of pain for medicinal purposes and act as anti-inflammatories can also help athletes struggling with joint pain in various sports. And we’re not just talking about snowboarders or Ultimate Frisbee Golf jocks either. A Wall Street Journal story recently interviewed ultra-marathon runners, who run up to 200 miles over 20-hour periods, and many noted that cannabis aids with the stomach cramps and intense muscle pain they endure along the way. “The person who is going to win an ultra is someone who can manage their pain, not puke, and stay calm,” said veteran runner Jenn Shelton. “Pot does all three of those things.” I have a better suggestion for these masochistic ultra-marathoners: moderation!
Even the World Anti-Doping Agency and U.S. Track & Field are coming around on dope. Last year the WADA raised the acceptable amount of THC a runner can have in his or her system, flagging only runners who use pot on the day of competition. Using marijuana during training sessions or as a sleep aid the night before a race is all good. There’s a reason the fastest man on the planet, Usain Bolt, is from Jamaica, mon!
Running high as a kite is not for everyone. Chronic smoking has been related to pulmonary irritation and symptoms of chronic bronchitis (including hocking loogies). “There are cardiovascular effects, like increasing heart rate,” says Gregory Gerdeman (The Pot Book) in the Runner’s World piece. “These may be minimal in young athletes or those with tolerance, but should be considered seriously by anyone at risk for coronary heart disease. Plus, there have been some studies that suggest it influences blood flow to the brain, which can influence the risk of stroke.”
Still, cannabis smoking doesn’t have nearly the negative effect on the lungs that tobacco does. The National Institutes of Health did a study in 2013 that I wish I’d been chosen for. They exposed a group of adults to up to seven “joint years”—one joint per day for seven years—and found that even those extremes didn’t diminish lung function. In fact, marijuana users in the study performed a little better than nonsmokers on a lung-function test, because ganja smokers were basically “training” over time by taking deep breaths and holding smoke in.
Outside did its own piece on stoned running (“Know Before You Go!”), and, while not condoning the practice, gave helpful tips, including not getting lost, bringing munchies along the way, and “dosing” in a safe environment: “You don’t want to be 10 miles into the mountains and suddenly feel like you need to take a nap because THC makes you sleepy, then find yourself dozing off in the middle of the woods with no food or shelter.” Their advice on dosing was a little . . . high: “While lower doses often lead to a relaxed physical state and sense of well-being, or a ‘body high,’ high doses can bring on an acid-trip type of experience with hallucinations and possible paranoia. Once the drug kicks in, the high can last from four to 10 hours, or possibly longer.” Not sure where they’re getting their ganja, but I want some. Wow!
My own advice is to use marijuana as a sort of reward after you exercise. The perfect indulgent treat? The CannaBar! It’s a protein candy bar made using almonds, honey, and hemp-based cannabidiols—with less fatty ingredients that the Clif bars you’re shakily shoving in mid-marathon. Sadly, the CannaBar is made with a cannabis sativa without much THC, so it doesn’t get you high; you’ll want to do that in the traditional way—and by that I mean taking off your Brooks, collapsing on the couch, and sucking down bong hits.
This article first appeared in the Seattle Weekly.
